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This creative discourse discusses the anxiety emotions that the author has accumulated from the people and things contacted with in the first 24 years of their life. The anxiety stems from inner emotional conflicts, and the author's awareness of its existence drives her to retrospectively search for the root cause. That leads to the discovery of unresolved pains that have formed into complex and fragmented contradictions, resulting in an anxious personality. As the author grows older, they become more aware of the impact of anxiety on their life and recognize the need to adopt a different thought process to prevent a path towards losing control. Therefore, the author focuses on their most pleasant and free emotional experiences - the game experience - and analyzes them to find a lifeline to tackle the current crisis. For the author, writing this creative discourse is both a way to organize and record their experiences and also a way to gain the courage and strength to face themselves. By narrating their life experiences from their perspective and using artistic creation to concretize abstract feelings, the author embarks on a journey of self-healing. Finding answers to problems is an essential element, and the author chooses to approach it from the perspective of the game spirit, as a foundation for resolving the dilemma. The discourse explores how to respond to the siege of anxiety and absurdity in life, using the game spirit to transform it into creative language, ultimately balancing the author's negative response to anxiety, and striving to be an honest person oneself.
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