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Abstract
This thesis writing will explain how artistic creations reflect on the inner state of my life journey, specifically focusing on the way of transmitting the feeling of loneliness, trauma, and depression into the art works. This study also aims to discover my mental state through life experiences, awareness, reading, and writing. In the process of taking care of my partner, I realized that the caregiver also had the need for self-healing. Thus, I adjust myself and reduce anxiety through the making of art. There will be five chapters in the thesis. In Chapter 1, “Introduction”, I will present research motivation and purpose, research method, as well as research area. In Chapter II, “Trauma and Healing”, I will discuss the inspiration for this research. Inspired by relevant studies of crucifixes, I’ll explore related fields of crucifixion including the artists, the artistic concepts, and the artistic techniques. The repetition is one of the fundamental features of my implement in the artwork of crucifixion which represents the transformation of the death drive and the correlation between madness and creation. My visual study will focus on the suffering physical body, derived from the studies about flagellation and crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The form of pain and tactile sensation in inner life comprises body memory, transforming into the physical image, and carrying out in my art works. This concept therefore develops the visual sensation of cuts and mends and further influences the selection of media. In Chapter III, “Visual Platform of Physical Suffering”, I will process the self-healing by transforming the art making through the analysis of the integration of two-dimensional methods, three-dimensional methods, and space installation. Followed by the Christian doctrine of “monasticism”, I’ll explain the technique of these creations from the demand of “self-care” to “tormenting body”. This creative technique was further extended and employed in the trauma memory of body image. The ultrasound images and the anatomy images were used to discover the human body and develop the creation from painting to installation. In Chapter IV, “The Journey of Healing”, I will analyze my five series art works include “Artist’s Book, “Crucifixion”, “Depression”, “Blood and Flesh”, and “Wandering Soul”, focusing on the content and the form of creation. Finally, in Chapter V, “Conclusion”, I will summarize the research content and propose a future development for my art life.
Keywords: mixed media creation; trauma; crucifixion; healing
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